Aberdeen is one month old today! At this point in her young life she likes being held, looking at lights, and sucking on her pacifier. She dislikes diaper changes and sponge baths, and the jury's still out on tummy time. Most of the day she is content and alert, while overnight she likes to try her parents' patience by being a little miss cranky-pants. We still like her though :). She is also back at Cincinnati Children's Hospital as of yesterday afternoon. Despite being on the feeding pump for 18 hours a day, she isn't gaining any weight and is still hovering just below her birth weight. She's been re-admitted to the cardiac step-down unit (we're even in the same room) to try to sort out this problem and get her to better tolerate her feeds. If strides aren't made in the tolerance of her feeds, the option of surgery will be brought back onto the table
We have mixed feelings about being back in the hospital. On one hand, we appreciate having the highly trained eyes of the doctors and nursing staff on our baby, making sure she's doing all right. At the same time we are struggling with the wish that Abby had been making progress at home. It was such a relief to finally get to leave the hospital with our little girl, and we aren't relishing moving back into her hospital room. While the time we were able to spend at home was wonderful in many ways, it wasn't without its challenges. I had more than a few "I can't do this" moments, wondering why God would ask so much of Abby and of us. I wanted to be able to hold our baby without any tubes or wires attached to her - without the constant worry that something was about to go terribly wrong. I know that some of these are the same thoughts and worries all new parents experience, but with the added stress of Abby's medical conditions, it sometimes seems like too much to bear. I look forward to a day a couple years from now when we can look back at this time in our lives and wonder what we were so worried about. Until then, we are trying to savor the enjoyable parts of each day with Aberdeen and trust that she's in the best hands possible.
Your thoughts and prayers are always appreciated.